So, it's week two weigh in day. And I wonder if the theory on "The Biggest Loser" is true. It's not like I work out like they do, I mean, that's intense. I sort of wish I had a personal trainer like that everyday for an hour or two, but I don't. I only have myself, no gym, no trainer, just me, my TV, my treadmill and babies running around my feet as I work out. So, is it true what they say about week two weigh in and does it apply to us regular folks? Obviously, as great as a motivation as this show is, it's really hard for any person in the "real world" to lose the amount of weight they are losing at the rate they are losing it. I sometimes wonder if it sets us up for a little bit of failure. I know, all the years trying to lose weight, it only takes one week of a bad weigh in, whether it's no weight loss or little weight loss to set a path that only leads back to bad habits. On the show it's a bad week if they lose anything under 7 pounds, at least to them it is. In the real world, any weight loss should be celebrated right?
So, that's where I'm at today, I lost 1 1/2 pounds this week, for a total of 6 pounds in two weeks. I mean, I should be totally proud right? But I just feel aggravated. The 1 1/2 pounds definitely do not display the work or effort I feel like I put in this week. I sweated more than the first week, I cheated in the food area less than the first week, so I was really thinking no less than 3 pounds this week. So yeah, even though I should be proud I'm pretty annoyed. My first thoughts are to just eat whatever I want today, cause I REALLY wanted waffles this morning and I'd really love some McDonald's super sized! So, right now I'm holding it together, we'll see what the day brings.
I also wonder about stress or emotions. My emotions basically since Tuesday night have been an utter mess. As a friend of mine said "my emotions are giving me whiplash today." And that's how I've felt all week. It's often talked about what stress can do on your body, especially when you're trying to loss weight, and even if you're not trying to loss weight. But, right now, it just feels like an excuse to me. "Oh, my feelings were hurt this week so that's why I only lost 1 1/2 pounds" sounds like utter crap to me!!! Upon researching it, there is SO much conflicting evidence. Stress produces cortisol, cortisol slows down the fat burning process, blah blah blah. Then there's the theory that fat people who get stressed out turn to food and so they probably just ate a bunch when they were stressed out and are not being honest about it. Especially considering if they are a food addict, as I somewhat identify with, they've been hiding/lying about the food for a long time. But, I can honestly tell you, that I did not console myself with food at any point in this week. The 3 Hershey Kisses I ate Tuesday night made me so sick to my stomach so even though I kind of TRIED to, it totally backfired on me. So, I'll move on, I'll try to get a better hold on my feelings, since I seem to be uber sensitive right now.
I got up early, kind of, to work out. I've realized that unless I have at least 30 minutes or so to wake up before I start working out, I'm not going to put much effort into it. I was completely zoned out during Sweatin' to the Oldies and I don't think I could have picked my feet up high enough to jog on the treadmill if I wanted to. But I'm loving this moment, as baby girl has laid down for her morning nap and I'm not rushing to get on the treadmill. What a silly situtation I contemplate everyday...
The emotional whiplash has not gotten any better as the day went on. Since I'm being honest here, and I'm trying to stick to the weight loss topic, I'll just stray for a minute. After both my kids I suffered from Post Partum Depression. I cannot afford the medication, it's name brand and well, it's expensive (they do not make a generic and any other one we've tried made me gain weight...one time 30 pounds in 30 days...). My doctor has been awesome about keeping me stocked up, but, alas, I ran out and so did his samples and I'm beginning to think my emotional whiplash may have something to do with this... My baby girl is almost 10 1/2 months old, so I feel like I should be over this by now, but something is definitely wrong this week and that's the only major change I've had. So, do I wait another week until it's all worked its way out of my system and see if things balance out if you will? Or do I make an appointment with my general practioner (my ob is the one who's been helping me with samples) and try to explain the situation and try to get samples from him? UGH!
There's always so much more involved in life than just weight loss. Losing this weight is not going to make my life perfect, I'm not at all oblivious to this. Because let's be honest, when I do lose the weight, then I have to focus on other problems. Life is so much easier when I can just blame all my issues on being fat, isn't it? And when I can just eat the other issues away....
Maybe that's the real issue this week, when I'd get like this in the past I'd just pig out...problem solved... Now that's not an option for me. Learning new coping skills, I am majorly failing on. But we'll get there. My husband has convinced me to weigh in again tomorrow just in case.... So I will.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I did it!
I was a little worried the editor wasn't going to load tonight, but success!
I did it! I did 1000 sit ups today! It was honestly, annoying, but after I was done, I was very proud. I do them in sets of 50 - 100 and try not to leave anymore than an hour between the sets. Of course, the day gets busy and I'll often forget. I did probably 300 before noon then forgot for a couple hours. My husband did them with me. I'm going to try to do this more often, even though my abs aren't sore, it does keep my metabolism up and if I get hungry it'll curb that craving for a little bit.
I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill this morning, not as many intervals as the past few days but I still sweat. And I did a Denise Austin: Cardio Workout. Also some sweat, which is a good thing. My food choices were really good. Even picked up Jack In The Box for the rest of the house and came home and ate a sandwich (on diet bread, with diet cheese) and some left over noodles, not many. Noodles are not always a great choice, but I was hungry and only ate 1/4 cup to a 1/2 cup. But after I ate them I remembered I'm weighing in tomorrow and I did not want to eat noodles today. However, it was for lunch and it wasn't much so I think it'll be fine.
Not only do we hit a emotional time right now, but it's also the beginning of five months of birthdays in our house. Six birthdays in five months, it's pretty insane. So, even though I believe all things in moderation, I will probably research cake options, maybe a cupcake with lite whipped cream for frosting? We'll see. Plus, since I'm always the cook I can always make options for myself.
The alarm is again set for early, I really need to getup and work out before I weigh in. So, that means I should probably crash out!!!
I did it! I did 1000 sit ups today! It was honestly, annoying, but after I was done, I was very proud. I do them in sets of 50 - 100 and try not to leave anymore than an hour between the sets. Of course, the day gets busy and I'll often forget. I did probably 300 before noon then forgot for a couple hours. My husband did them with me. I'm going to try to do this more often, even though my abs aren't sore, it does keep my metabolism up and if I get hungry it'll curb that craving for a little bit.
I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill this morning, not as many intervals as the past few days but I still sweat. And I did a Denise Austin: Cardio Workout. Also some sweat, which is a good thing. My food choices were really good. Even picked up Jack In The Box for the rest of the house and came home and ate a sandwich (on diet bread, with diet cheese) and some left over noodles, not many. Noodles are not always a great choice, but I was hungry and only ate 1/4 cup to a 1/2 cup. But after I ate them I remembered I'm weighing in tomorrow and I did not want to eat noodles today. However, it was for lunch and it wasn't much so I think it'll be fine.
Not only do we hit a emotional time right now, but it's also the beginning of five months of birthdays in our house. Six birthdays in five months, it's pretty insane. So, even though I believe all things in moderation, I will probably research cake options, maybe a cupcake with lite whipped cream for frosting? We'll see. Plus, since I'm always the cook I can always make options for myself.
The alarm is again set for early, I really need to getup and work out before I weigh in. So, that means I should probably crash out!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Naming it
Apparently a weight loss blog is not as original as I had thought. There's a million of them out there, however, I'm fairly certain mine if the funniest. Well, maybe the least serious. There goes all my hopes and dreams of doing my media tour because of my amazing idea! I guess I'll never meet Matt Lauer or Ellen Degeneres now!! Plus, "Losing it" is probably the most common name. Which, I'd just like to let it known that "Losing it" has a double meaning for me (there is a bigger word I wanted to use, but I can barely say it right, so spelling it, is kind of out of the question). First, losing it, obviously means, losing the weight. But losing it means other things like...losing my mind, cause that happens sometimes. It also means losing expectations I've put on myself or other people have placed on me (knowingly or not), it means losing the ideas of how weight loss has to be done, different things work for different people. Obviously (I can only spell that word if I start from the very beginning...just like definitely...weird), calories in versus calories out is true for everyone but other than that...do it how you do it! Anyway, so I'm actively seeking a new name for my blog.
Well, the exhaustion is unreal today! I took step son to school and had to wait there 45 minutes to get their bags checked by the police, since it's a school sponsored event they had to be pre-checked before leaving for the airport. Got home, and even though I was tired, I forced myself on the treadmill for 25 minutes. Right now, the goal on the treamill is 2 miles in 30 minutes, which is huge for me. I haven't gotten there yet, but I'm doing better! Then I came into the living room, read my daily Bible, then was going to work out with good ole Gilad, but we're doing stuff with our satellite, and even though they still hadn't turned it off last night at 1, it was turned off this morning at 6/6:30. I knew only getting less than 4 hours of sleep and pushing another workout probably was going to exhaust my body beyond good, so I instead decided to really try for the 1000 sit ups today. Oh, my current treadmill movie is Hitch. Everytime I watch Eva Mendez get kicked in the face while on the waverunner I crack up!! It's honestly hilarious!
Tonight is church, so it'll be interesting if I can stay awake long enough after we get back to publish this post, I'm sure I can. I actually "stole" (it's not really stealing...we're married) one of my husbands "Sugar Free Monsters". I tried coffee, I really wish I liked coffee, but I just like the way it smells, not tastes.
At the end of the night I've done a total of 700 sit ups today. I can't even believe I'm up right now. I do know that despite that I was exhausted, it felt amazing to have my work out done first thing in the morning. During nap time I cleaned out the linen closet and washed some of the bedding, okay not as productive as I could have been, but it was definitely nice not having to worry about jumping on a work out the second baby girl laid down. So, alarm is set for tomorrow, we shall see if I can roll out of bed. Pretty sure husband won't be a fan of me waking him up to get on the treadmill in our room, but he's very supportive so he won't put up too much of a fuss!
Well, the exhaustion is unreal today! I took step son to school and had to wait there 45 minutes to get their bags checked by the police, since it's a school sponsored event they had to be pre-checked before leaving for the airport. Got home, and even though I was tired, I forced myself on the treadmill for 25 minutes. Right now, the goal on the treamill is 2 miles in 30 minutes, which is huge for me. I haven't gotten there yet, but I'm doing better! Then I came into the living room, read my daily Bible, then was going to work out with good ole Gilad, but we're doing stuff with our satellite, and even though they still hadn't turned it off last night at 1, it was turned off this morning at 6/6:30. I knew only getting less than 4 hours of sleep and pushing another workout probably was going to exhaust my body beyond good, so I instead decided to really try for the 1000 sit ups today. Oh, my current treadmill movie is Hitch. Everytime I watch Eva Mendez get kicked in the face while on the waverunner I crack up!! It's honestly hilarious!
Tonight is church, so it'll be interesting if I can stay awake long enough after we get back to publish this post, I'm sure I can. I actually "stole" (it's not really stealing...we're married) one of my husbands "Sugar Free Monsters". I tried coffee, I really wish I liked coffee, but I just like the way it smells, not tastes.
At the end of the night I've done a total of 700 sit ups today. I can't even believe I'm up right now. I do know that despite that I was exhausted, it felt amazing to have my work out done first thing in the morning. During nap time I cleaned out the linen closet and washed some of the bedding, okay not as productive as I could have been, but it was definitely nice not having to worry about jumping on a work out the second baby girl laid down. So, alarm is set for tomorrow, we shall see if I can roll out of bed. Pretty sure husband won't be a fan of me waking him up to get on the treadmill in our room, but he's very supportive so he won't put up too much of a fuss!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Now sizzle..
I'm not feeling especially "light hearted" today, so if I get all "heavy hearted" I will just stop writing, makes perfect sense to me.
This morning, I got on the treadmill pretty early. I did have my alarm set for super early but just couldn't do it. I will, one day, I know it. Tomorrow I actually have to make sure my step son is up by 4:40am (I don't normally check, but it's super early and he has to catch a plane, so yeah). I've considered offering to run him up to school (they are carpooling to the airport from there) so then I'd be forced to be up and then I'd work out when I get back. That's kind of my plan...right now...maybe not at 4:40am. Especially considering if I went to bed at this moment I'd only get about 5 1/2 hours of sleep, and I'm not going to bed at this moment.
I also worked out to "Sweatin' to the Oldies 2" today. It's harder than the first one. Which was apparently Richard Simmons intention. During my work out, I cocked a play gun for my son probably 15 times, changed my daughters poopy diaper, got my son a glass of apple juice and a cookie, got my daughter up from her nap (she never slept, just screamed), and held her for at least 10 minutes of the first part of the work out. That makes it hard to work out...for sure...but I pressed on and finished it out and I'm glad I did. I did not try for the 1000 sit ups today, Richard (we're on a first name basis now) made me do 48, so, like 2% (I don't do math, I married a genius, so don't hate if I'm totally off) of what I was supposed to do, that's good...right? Right!
I spent most of the evening after dinner scanning old pictures from my dad's house. I could do this forever. I was in a bit of a funk, and this was the easiest way not to affect everyone in the house, focus on something else. And speaking of my dad's house, I desperately need to get over there, my Christmas present to him this year was coming over once a month and cleaning. He keeps a decently clean house, but there's just certain things that boys don't think of, and that's fine. Plus I used to go once a month for probably 3 years and clean and I haven't for quite a while. It'll be quite a work out, so I'm kind of eager to go take care of it.
I also spent a good chunk of time organizing "my favorites". And it's just re-convinced me that not everything in life falls into a nice little category. I'm having a hard time getting all my links combined into just a few folders.
Well, I've done it, I'm officially leaving here at 5:10am to take my step son up to school in the morning. He just got home from work and I offered, he accepted, plus, his car doesn't need to sit at school for the next 5 days anyway. Hopefully I don't pass out in the car, in the garage when I get back! I will count this as a blessing to get my morning off to a right start. Plus, if I treadmill and do another work out first thing, imagine the time I'll have during nap times to do all the other things I love doing, like organizing my favorites or pictures! Or playing my guitar; figured out the other day I know four chords, not just three, and it's been a long time since I've played it, so I'm pretty impressed with myself. And I could still play the song "Heart of Worship" **high five**.
Okay, Okay I get it!! Geez. I just ate a few Hershey Kisses (with Almonds) and now I feel icky. I've learned my lesson, since it's twice now I've done it. When I'm eating basically veggie, chicken and fish, and some low calorie frozen entrees, apparently sugar is not a friend of mine. Now that I've tried it twice and have gotten the same results, I can officially scratch late night sugar snack, no matter how small it is, off my list! Which, is a good thing, because it's not like I really need it anyway, I seriously thought 2 wouldn't bother me...geez!
This morning, I got on the treadmill pretty early. I did have my alarm set for super early but just couldn't do it. I will, one day, I know it. Tomorrow I actually have to make sure my step son is up by 4:40am (I don't normally check, but it's super early and he has to catch a plane, so yeah). I've considered offering to run him up to school (they are carpooling to the airport from there) so then I'd be forced to be up and then I'd work out when I get back. That's kind of my plan...right now...maybe not at 4:40am. Especially considering if I went to bed at this moment I'd only get about 5 1/2 hours of sleep, and I'm not going to bed at this moment.
I also worked out to "Sweatin' to the Oldies 2" today. It's harder than the first one. Which was apparently Richard Simmons intention. During my work out, I cocked a play gun for my son probably 15 times, changed my daughters poopy diaper, got my son a glass of apple juice and a cookie, got my daughter up from her nap (she never slept, just screamed), and held her for at least 10 minutes of the first part of the work out. That makes it hard to work out...for sure...but I pressed on and finished it out and I'm glad I did. I did not try for the 1000 sit ups today, Richard (we're on a first name basis now) made me do 48, so, like 2% (I don't do math, I married a genius, so don't hate if I'm totally off) of what I was supposed to do, that's good...right? Right!
I spent most of the evening after dinner scanning old pictures from my dad's house. I could do this forever. I was in a bit of a funk, and this was the easiest way not to affect everyone in the house, focus on something else. And speaking of my dad's house, I desperately need to get over there, my Christmas present to him this year was coming over once a month and cleaning. He keeps a decently clean house, but there's just certain things that boys don't think of, and that's fine. Plus I used to go once a month for probably 3 years and clean and I haven't for quite a while. It'll be quite a work out, so I'm kind of eager to go take care of it.
I also spent a good chunk of time organizing "my favorites". And it's just re-convinced me that not everything in life falls into a nice little category. I'm having a hard time getting all my links combined into just a few folders.
Well, I've done it, I'm officially leaving here at 5:10am to take my step son up to school in the morning. He just got home from work and I offered, he accepted, plus, his car doesn't need to sit at school for the next 5 days anyway. Hopefully I don't pass out in the car, in the garage when I get back! I will count this as a blessing to get my morning off to a right start. Plus, if I treadmill and do another work out first thing, imagine the time I'll have during nap times to do all the other things I love doing, like organizing my favorites or pictures! Or playing my guitar; figured out the other day I know four chords, not just three, and it's been a long time since I've played it, so I'm pretty impressed with myself. And I could still play the song "Heart of Worship" **high five**.
Okay, Okay I get it!! Geez. I just ate a few Hershey Kisses (with Almonds) and now I feel icky. I've learned my lesson, since it's twice now I've done it. When I'm eating basically veggie, chicken and fish, and some low calorie frozen entrees, apparently sugar is not a friend of mine. Now that I've tried it twice and have gotten the same results, I can officially scratch late night sugar snack, no matter how small it is, off my list! Which, is a good thing, because it's not like I really need it anyway, I seriously thought 2 wouldn't bother me...geez!
Monday, January 10, 2011
This is so embarassing
Well, it's only going to be embarrassing if I actually tell you the name of the movie I'm about to talk about!
I was up late last night watching some movies I had recorded from the free Showtime weekend we had. One of the movies was made in 2002, which was probably the year I was at my best. The movie about some girls going on a road trip to basically get some answers in their life made me start thinking about myself in 2002. Whether or not I was thin, which I was, it was pretty awesome, the year was so great. I actually went on a road trip with my best girl friend and my best guy friend and in the weirdest sort of way had some things answered within my Spirit. "It's gonna rain, man" is probably the sentence that stuck with me the most from that weekend almost 9 years ago, I interpreted it as "It's gonna reign, man" and often quote that when things aren't looking so great in different areas of my life. Not only did I have this awesome road trip and I was the thinnest (probably not the healthiest), I was the most myself. I, also, met my now husband in the fall of that year. So the movie, just being made in 2002, gave me some motivation.
But, in this movie, the main character wears a few shirts that bare her stomach and well, I remembered this interview I saw of her some years ago and she talked about doing 1000 sit ups/crunches a day (she even demonstrated some of them on the show) and she did 3 miles of cardio (I can't remember if she said she jogged or what, but I definitely remember the 3 miles a day thing). She's also a dancer, so I'm well aware that she probably spends a lot of her time in a studio somewhere dancing, but vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms is like dancing...right? Anyway, I went to bed last night unbelievably motivated to get on the ball today. I set the alarm for 6am, even though I went to bed super late, I can always nap later. Baby girl woke up at 5:58, (how do they know???) so I reset the alarm for 6:30 and apparently turned it off instead of resetting it, when I really should have just stayed up and started working out. I wasn't mad when I woke up, not entirely. I really want to do this and exercise in the morning so I can use nap time to do other things, like re-learn the guitar and other wifey/mommy duties or naps. But I did start the 1000 crunches a day, and I did real push ups today, no girlie push ups!! At the end of the night I have done only 300 of the 1000 sit ups I intended to do, it's a lot harder than it sounds...
After I woke up somewhat disappointed, not mad or anything, I was making the kiddos waffles and well, I love waffles, I mean really love them and I had a few last week but I knew if I had waffles this morning it would just not start the week off like I want. Mondays are generally hard for me and starting off with waffles would just not set the right tone for the day, so I did not choose waffles.
As soon as baby girl laid down for her nap I got on the treadmill. I have been doing a TV work out first in the morning, then doing the treadmill in the afternoon and I'm pretty lazy on the treadmill. So this morning I decided to get on the treadmill for the morning work out. I was still somewhat motivated from the movie I watched the night before. I can't exactly pinpoint what motivated me from the movie, but rekindling some lost friendships, really working toward some goals/dreams I have for myself and being free to be myself, something about it just inspired me and honestly I'll take any inspiration at this point! So I kicked my own butt on the treadmill and it felt amazing. I did interval jogging and at the end I was sweating a lot, which is what I like. I had just finished eating lunch when the UPS guy stopped and handed me an amazing package. A friend of mine had sent me "Sweatin' to the Oldies" 20th anniversary edition on DVD! How amazingly sweet is that?? So, for the afternoon I worked out to the first DVD.
We had to do that in grade school for PE sometimes. I went to a private grade school so our PE teachers were either volunteers or our own teacher. Well, my mom was the PE teacher for a while and I know she had us work out to these, and my 8th grade teacher did also. Now, I truly know why I hated exercise as a kid. Now, it's hilarious and I love it! At 11 - 13 it was horrible, songs we probably hated at that age and moves that were silly. Now, again, so excited to have these and use them. I will definitely write more about them soon, as Richard Simmons is insanely hilarious. He actually says in one interview that he wants to be our jester, he sees us as a king or queen and wants to be our court jester. So he totally doesn't mind that I am laughing at him. The clothes were awesome, stone washed jeans and this one dude had on a bommer (I have no idea how to spell that) jacket..yesssss!!!
I was up late last night watching some movies I had recorded from the free Showtime weekend we had. One of the movies was made in 2002, which was probably the year I was at my best. The movie about some girls going on a road trip to basically get some answers in their life made me start thinking about myself in 2002. Whether or not I was thin, which I was, it was pretty awesome, the year was so great. I actually went on a road trip with my best girl friend and my best guy friend and in the weirdest sort of way had some things answered within my Spirit. "It's gonna rain, man" is probably the sentence that stuck with me the most from that weekend almost 9 years ago, I interpreted it as "It's gonna reign, man" and often quote that when things aren't looking so great in different areas of my life. Not only did I have this awesome road trip and I was the thinnest (probably not the healthiest), I was the most myself. I, also, met my now husband in the fall of that year. So the movie, just being made in 2002, gave me some motivation.
But, in this movie, the main character wears a few shirts that bare her stomach and well, I remembered this interview I saw of her some years ago and she talked about doing 1000 sit ups/crunches a day (she even demonstrated some of them on the show) and she did 3 miles of cardio (I can't remember if she said she jogged or what, but I definitely remember the 3 miles a day thing). She's also a dancer, so I'm well aware that she probably spends a lot of her time in a studio somewhere dancing, but vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms is like dancing...right? Anyway, I went to bed last night unbelievably motivated to get on the ball today. I set the alarm for 6am, even though I went to bed super late, I can always nap later. Baby girl woke up at 5:58, (how do they know???) so I reset the alarm for 6:30 and apparently turned it off instead of resetting it, when I really should have just stayed up and started working out. I wasn't mad when I woke up, not entirely. I really want to do this and exercise in the morning so I can use nap time to do other things, like re-learn the guitar and other wifey/mommy duties or naps. But I did start the 1000 crunches a day, and I did real push ups today, no girlie push ups!! At the end of the night I have done only 300 of the 1000 sit ups I intended to do, it's a lot harder than it sounds...
After I woke up somewhat disappointed, not mad or anything, I was making the kiddos waffles and well, I love waffles, I mean really love them and I had a few last week but I knew if I had waffles this morning it would just not start the week off like I want. Mondays are generally hard for me and starting off with waffles would just not set the right tone for the day, so I did not choose waffles.
As soon as baby girl laid down for her nap I got on the treadmill. I have been doing a TV work out first in the morning, then doing the treadmill in the afternoon and I'm pretty lazy on the treadmill. So this morning I decided to get on the treadmill for the morning work out. I was still somewhat motivated from the movie I watched the night before. I can't exactly pinpoint what motivated me from the movie, but rekindling some lost friendships, really working toward some goals/dreams I have for myself and being free to be myself, something about it just inspired me and honestly I'll take any inspiration at this point! So I kicked my own butt on the treadmill and it felt amazing. I did interval jogging and at the end I was sweating a lot, which is what I like. I had just finished eating lunch when the UPS guy stopped and handed me an amazing package. A friend of mine had sent me "Sweatin' to the Oldies" 20th anniversary edition on DVD! How amazingly sweet is that?? So, for the afternoon I worked out to the first DVD.
We had to do that in grade school for PE sometimes. I went to a private grade school so our PE teachers were either volunteers or our own teacher. Well, my mom was the PE teacher for a while and I know she had us work out to these, and my 8th grade teacher did also. Now, I truly know why I hated exercise as a kid. Now, it's hilarious and I love it! At 11 - 13 it was horrible, songs we probably hated at that age and moves that were silly. Now, again, so excited to have these and use them. I will definitely write more about them soon, as Richard Simmons is insanely hilarious. He actually says in one interview that he wants to be our jester, he sees us as a king or queen and wants to be our court jester. So he totally doesn't mind that I am laughing at him. The clothes were awesome, stone washed jeans and this one dude had on a bommer (I have no idea how to spell that) jacket..yesssss!!!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I have a confession to make
I have a confession to make, last night, the craving for sweets was unreal, so I grabbed a few cookies and they were quite yummy. I'm not ashamed of what I did by any means, it's in my full right to have a few cookies. Here's the weird thing, and I always thought this was such a sham when I heard people say this but it's so true. I was sick to my stomach after I ate them. I had to lay down on the couch and I pretty much just laid there because I was so queasy. Funny thing, I want cookies again but I'm not gonna eat them. I have carrots right now, I'm kind of craving good stuff right now...weird. I hope this is a step in the right direction.
I did not work out today, I have worked out everyday for the past 2 weeks, so I gave myself the day off. I really want to be getting up early to do this but, like I've said a million times, I love the late night quiet time.
I'm coming upon a really hard time of year for myself. The anniversary of a lot of deaths hit this month. It's commonly my binge month, but I am going to find new ways to cope. Pretty much exactly like a drug addict, coping skills.... I'm hoping my favorite coping skill will be exercise (a girl can dream right?)!
I'm very grateful for all the people who have let me know that they are struggling with this also. So many people I never would have thought had issues in this area are telling me that they are going through the same things.
I did not work out today, I have worked out everyday for the past 2 weeks, so I gave myself the day off. I really want to be getting up early to do this but, like I've said a million times, I love the late night quiet time.
I'm coming upon a really hard time of year for myself. The anniversary of a lot of deaths hit this month. It's commonly my binge month, but I am going to find new ways to cope. Pretty much exactly like a drug addict, coping skills.... I'm hoping my favorite coping skill will be exercise (a girl can dream right?)!
I'm very grateful for all the people who have let me know that they are struggling with this also. So many people I never would have thought had issues in this area are telling me that they are going through the same things.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
The Day after the weigh in
I am pretty self notorious for binging the day after a weigh in, especially a good weigh in. But I did not do that today, and let me tell you, it was rough, especially since I came in pretty low in my calorie count! I really can't thank this blog (lol@ me thanking an inanimate object) for causing me accountability and giving me a much needed creative outlet and therapy of sorts.
Last night I didn't have my evening snack and left late to go visit a friend of mine and run a few errands. I was kind of hungry and even considered picking up something while I was out but didn't. I checked a bag of "fruit snacks" because they claim on the front "fat free" um....they are not calorie free, which is my biggest concern right now. They sounded super yummy and even though it was 10pm I could have eaten them, but I made the choice not to. Came home late, still wanting a snack but went to bed anyway. And woke up definitely wanting a big breakfast, but again chose not to. And chose to get on the treadmill before noon and this time I for real jogged some!! I even did intervals for a while, jogging a 6mph, which, is insanely fast for me and my short legs.
So, here's my funny story. Sometime in the fall (maybe late summer, I'm not sure) I was going for a walk/jog around my subdivision. I usually go down my road and past our lake, I would pay extra HOA fees to have a path all the way around the lake, but alas, there's not. Anyway, I jogged down the road, turned around and headed back. I was coming up on an older gentleman (had to be in his late 70's...) and he was outside shoveling sand into his ditch probably to help with the water drainage issue. Yes, you heard me right. I took out my ear bud to say 'hi', since I don't really know my neighbors (that's sad) I usually try to say hi and look for an opportunity to talk to them. He said to me and I quote "Nice day for a slow walk." I just nodded ("Ummm...hellooo...I'm jogging, not slow walking.") And then he asks "Do you try to slow walk everyday?" ("Is this really happening? I'd like to see you jog...geez.") So I reply "Yeah, I try to jog pretty much everyday." Totally emphasizing the jog. And he says, "It's good for ya. Well, have a good slow walk." ("That did not just happen!! This old man was either totally making fun of me and my pathetic jog...yes, I'm a slow jogger, I'm totally aware of this...but I was definitely jogging, walking with a hop! OR he was blind, I mean that's possible right?") So, I just kept jogging until he couldn't see me anymore and then I walked...slow. What a butthead!
At lunch today I had a frozen Michelina's meal. I realize that most nutrionist and trainers would really encourage not eating processed foods and eating as much fresh produce and possible, but when you're a single income with seven people in your house and you only grocery shop once a month it's really hard to work out. So I work with what I've got. Which I think is so important when people are trying to make changes in their lives. I mean, say you're trying to pay off your bills faster, of course it would be ideal to pay an extra $100/month toward a credit card, but if you only have an extra $20/month that's something, that's great! Or if one month you blow a tire and have to replace it and you can only put $10/month for that month, do whatever is best for you! Do whatever you can work with! You don't have to do what the "experts" suggest or what everyone else has done, just work with what you got!
I only did the one work out today, I'm not really sure where the time went today. I guess after the treadmill it just wasn't a priority and it needs to be. As I said earlier I came in pretty low in my calorie count today, I don't have a specific number that I try to hit, but I try to have a general idea of the amount I'm eating. As I've said a million times, it's all about making different choices.
Last night I didn't have my evening snack and left late to go visit a friend of mine and run a few errands. I was kind of hungry and even considered picking up something while I was out but didn't. I checked a bag of "fruit snacks" because they claim on the front "fat free" um....they are not calorie free, which is my biggest concern right now. They sounded super yummy and even though it was 10pm I could have eaten them, but I made the choice not to. Came home late, still wanting a snack but went to bed anyway. And woke up definitely wanting a big breakfast, but again chose not to. And chose to get on the treadmill before noon and this time I for real jogged some!! I even did intervals for a while, jogging a 6mph, which, is insanely fast for me and my short legs.
So, here's my funny story. Sometime in the fall (maybe late summer, I'm not sure) I was going for a walk/jog around my subdivision. I usually go down my road and past our lake, I would pay extra HOA fees to have a path all the way around the lake, but alas, there's not. Anyway, I jogged down the road, turned around and headed back. I was coming up on an older gentleman (had to be in his late 70's...) and he was outside shoveling sand into his ditch probably to help with the water drainage issue. Yes, you heard me right. I took out my ear bud to say 'hi', since I don't really know my neighbors (that's sad) I usually try to say hi and look for an opportunity to talk to them. He said to me and I quote "Nice day for a slow walk." I just nodded ("Ummm...hellooo...I'm jogging, not slow walking.") And then he asks "Do you try to slow walk everyday?" ("Is this really happening? I'd like to see you jog...geez.") So I reply "Yeah, I try to jog pretty much everyday." Totally emphasizing the jog. And he says, "It's good for ya. Well, have a good slow walk." ("That did not just happen!! This old man was either totally making fun of me and my pathetic jog...yes, I'm a slow jogger, I'm totally aware of this...but I was definitely jogging, walking with a hop! OR he was blind, I mean that's possible right?") So, I just kept jogging until he couldn't see me anymore and then I walked...slow. What a butthead!
At lunch today I had a frozen Michelina's meal. I realize that most nutrionist and trainers would really encourage not eating processed foods and eating as much fresh produce and possible, but when you're a single income with seven people in your house and you only grocery shop once a month it's really hard to work out. So I work with what I've got. Which I think is so important when people are trying to make changes in their lives. I mean, say you're trying to pay off your bills faster, of course it would be ideal to pay an extra $100/month toward a credit card, but if you only have an extra $20/month that's something, that's great! Or if one month you blow a tire and have to replace it and you can only put $10/month for that month, do whatever is best for you! Do whatever you can work with! You don't have to do what the "experts" suggest or what everyone else has done, just work with what you got!
I only did the one work out today, I'm not really sure where the time went today. I guess after the treadmill it just wasn't a priority and it needs to be. As I said earlier I came in pretty low in my calorie count today, I don't have a specific number that I try to hit, but I try to have a general idea of the amount I'm eating. As I've said a million times, it's all about making different choices.
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