The title may seem a little misleading because I'll probably talk about more than this, however, I've never really cared about my titles...soooooo....!
I put away Christmas stuff today, honestly, I was over Christmas on Christmas Day. I'm not a scrooge, or at least try not to be, but I was pretty exhausted this year. However, today I finally got around to it. As I was packing stuff away, the plan was to make sure all my stuff fit into the 3 Red Tubs I have. Here's the deal, when putting things away I was counting my cloth napkins (which I got at a resale shop simply for my ladies Christmas dinner, but I'm glad I did) and I could only find seven, yeah seven. Which means, somewhere is a green napkin laying around, awesome! This happens every year, about a week after Christmas I find one straggling thing laying around that never made it into storage and honestly, I will not go downstairs, manuveur around our games, open the tub and then find a spot for it. Last year it was a frog ornament. I'm not even sure where it even came from, but it sat in my desk drawer the entire year, yup, this is why my life is at time chaos but the frog ornament did make it in the tubs this year. Anyway, so this year I walked around the house like a million times (for sure) to make sure I had everything, and I'm pretty sure I got it, EXCEPT that stupid green napkin!!!! Am I the only one that has this problem? It's like the sock gnome that steals the socks out of the dryer (I get so excited when the entire load has matching socks), how does it even happen? I put everything out, I know what's out and where I put it....HOW does it vanish just long enough for me to put everything else away?
THEN how in the world do you get all the ornaments back in the box/boxes they go in? How am I supposed to remember what box it came out of? My mom wrote on bags and tried to write on all ornaments and boxes, but even that doesn't always help! "Mom, I do NOT remember which ornament I made for Dad in 1987. NOR do I remember what ornament grandma got me in 1982." I gave up on the bags today, it was like the worst mind game I've ever been a part of! It's like a blind folded game of Tetrus. I do not understand this phenenom. Again, am I the only one with this issue? Can't they put a picture of the ornament on the outside of the box? That would make the most sense to me. And if it doesn't come in a box, then what am I supposed to do? I mean, at least I can just wrap it in bubble wrap or whatever and put it in a shoe box, but then I don't remember where I got it... It's like a vicious cycle once a year that I think about even after the box is put away and I shouldn't care anymore. Until next year when they stare me in the face, mocking me because they are still disorganized and confusing and I have no clue where some of them came from..... Oh next Christmas I already want to punch you! Oh and by the way, when we were putting the boxes in storage (which is a tiny space that is never fun to try to get around in) we found a small box of my mom's Christmas stuff, which means it did NOT all fit in 3 red tubs...and you can just assume that I didn't try, left my mom's box where it was....cause that's what I did!
Oh man, upon re-reading I just had the greatest idea! Maybe, okay, WAIT, WOAH, I need to remember myself for a second, I already know this is an idea that I'll probably never do, but maybe someone else will... I could take pictures of all the ornaments, print those off (small photos) and write on the back of the photos where it came from. THEN either tape it on the box (or slide it inside the box) or if it doesn't have a box then I could slide the photo inside a baggie along with bubble wrap or whatever... sound great, now, to follow through. In 2012 I need more follow through I think!
Speaking of disorganized, Kiwi's room has become "shove everything in here I don't want to deal with and shut the door". All the Christmas boxes were in there so I'm so glad that's out, but it's still the biggest, most disorganized mess and it's sort of freaking me out. Today I'm only a little over 10 weeks from my scheduled c-section, at 39 weeks. I've never carried longer than 38 weeks...so.... BUT I'm believing for the scheduled date, it's the date I want, so Kiwi and I have talked about it, baby is staying in there until that date!!! So, upon realizing I only have 10 weeks left and we all know I'm only going to get even more ginormous and unmotivated and whatever, I really need to get on top of my "do before Kiwi gets here" list. I haven't officially made the list, but it's in my mind right nowm but I will make a list, I love lists, the crossing off, it's like therapy. First things first, I have to deal with the baby's room. The time is going to fly, as it always does. Funny thing, a friend of mine (Candice Davis) told me when I was near the end with Zoe, to make a to -do list and when I crossed off the last thing I'd have her. It's honestly what happened. The last thing on my list was to dust the fans and clean bugs out of light covers. I did that Wednesday afternoon before church and that night at church I was in labor. It could be coincidence, but I still think it's funny.
One more thing! So the no 'pooing. My hair is dry, I need to research this. I've read olive oil, I DO NOT want to do this and I won't honestly. It's really gets dried out about day 2 or 3 after I 'wash'. So, IDK, I'll have to research this, maybe I just need to wash every 4 days or something. About 2 weeks ago we had a lice episode at the house and it's the first time I've EVER had to deal with lice, so I shampooed with the Rid stuff, not because I personally had any lice but because I didn't want any! I thought, better safe than sorry! So I'm not sure if this has restarted the 'transition' period. I also switched from white vinegar to apple cider vinegar. I read on a few sites that's what they use, so I switched. The smell is wayyyy more pungent, which is sort of grossing me out, but my hair still doesn't smell, it just stinks in the shower. So, still working with this. I like the curls coming back and I love not wasting money on shampoo/conditioner so I will keep at it.
And in a week or two I'm having myself a little "home made cleaner" party. Starting with laundry stuff. I'm kind of excited about it!!!
That's it, hopefully the next couple days I will talk about 2012. Since this started almost exactly a year ago...time to reflect and renew :)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Update on no 'pooing and whatever else I feel like talking about
I don't know if I'm at like 2 weeks or week 3. But it seems like I'm still a little bit in the transition period of this 'no pooing'. The first week didn't bother me at all. Now it's this weird combination of 'is my hair greasy or dry'. One minute it'll feel a little greasy the next it has soooo many fly aways and looks very dried out! My hair is pulled back most of the time, and when it's down I can usually work it out so it doesn't look ridiculous. I have used a little product on it, not shampoo or conditioner, but usually a little smoothing serum and I did spray it with leave in conditioner last week sometime and a few nights ago I used "curl booster", but nothing crazy, I've never used a lot of product in my hair, well once I got out of high school when aqua net was one of my best friends. I definitely am still about this and am sticking with it. My hair has definitely gotten some curl back. I decided to go get a trim last night, it's been 6 months or so and the girl even noticed it was dried out. She had no clue that I don't use shampoo/conditioner, so that's good! Weird, that it's dried out, I was definitely expecting it to be greasy. I don't know if it's the weather or my method, but I can fix dried out easier than greasy, so I'm going with it.
Here's a few things I have learned. First, I really only "wash" every 5 days, this works for me, at least for the first few weeks. I would recommend to REALLY try to last 5 days and just push through the transition period. I still have the urge occasionally to shampoo/condition my hair, simply because of the lathering, the routine, the habit (more about habits at some point), but I'm excited to see how my hair will be in a few months, so I resist. If you're trying to get body back in your hair: There was a time months ago where I would only brush my hair before the shower, because I thought it helped with my curls. Only to realize that when I had to brush it again in a few days I was ripping my hair out of my head, no matter how careful I was being. So...if you're wanting your hair to get some natural wave/curl back I wouldn't recommend not combing your hair, instead just avoid putting it in a pony tail until it's totally dry. And since I stay at home, pretty much all the time, my hair is always in a pony tail, it's hard to not do it, but I've been resisting. And it's especially been hard not to considering this transition period, but I'm sticking it out.. Secondly (okay I realize that everything I said under "first" does not go together, I've never claimed to be a grammar specialist/or whatever), keep your mouth closed really tight when putting this stuff in your hair. It's obviously going to be very runny, it's well a cup of water really. As far as I tip my head back (and yes, I do currently have a double back neck, that really cute roll of fat in the back of my neck that when I throw my head back in laughter - or to wash it - shows up, and probably inhibits how far back my head will actually go, whatever) I still tend to get a little bit of stuff on my face and you'll taste it. It's not exactly yummy. Thirdly, DO NOT shave your legs BEFORE you do this. The water/vinegar mixture will run down your freshly shaven legs and it will burn, badly! So, just wait to shave until after you've washed. I also wash my body last, just in case there's any smell of vinegar. I have not noticed any greasy smell or dirty smell in my hair , my hair actually smells pleasant but I do plan on getting some essential oil and I've had my husband smell it multiple times and no vinegar smell either. When I actually take the time to edit my photos (thanks Pinterest - I'm a new member) I will post pictures of my hair. I think I should have one from each week.
I was at dinner Monday night with some ladies from church, it was a great night really. And mentioned something about not shampooing anymore, which most people just ask about, no judgement. My hair doesn't stink or look gross by any means. But when I came home and told my husband that the subject came up he said "you probably shouldn't advertise that." Does he know me at all???!! I have no issues being an open book to my life, past, present or future. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done in the past or choose to do now, I'm human! I think what he was REALLY saying was "people already think you're weird, why give them anymore ammunition?" And, well, that's probably true.
One of the biggest desires of my heart is to NEVER let a person in front of me at the grocery store pay for their groceries, or the person behind me in the drive thruchapstick my aunt makes, to buy like 100 from her and walk around with them and just randomly hand them out to people (obviously this will help my aunt too), to make the phone calls I say I will make, to open my doors when another mom needs a day out or a date with their husband, or any of those things. To quit always talking about myself and actually start listening to people and asking questions.
At one point I thought how amazing it would be to collect the stories of my congregation at my church and make a book about it. When someone had a prayer request, a need, a struggle, then we'd know who to send them through, someone who's been through the same thing. Or just to be a book that will encourage someone that's going through anything at all.
That's it for today! Yes, random, with no purpose, my English teacher would have NEVER accepted this paper :)
Here's a few things I have learned. First, I really only "wash" every 5 days, this works for me, at least for the first few weeks. I would recommend to REALLY try to last 5 days and just push through the transition period. I still have the urge occasionally to shampoo/condition my hair, simply because of the lathering, the routine, the habit (more about habits at some point), but I'm excited to see how my hair will be in a few months, so I resist. If you're trying to get body back in your hair: There was a time months ago where I would only brush my hair before the shower, because I thought it helped with my curls. Only to realize that when I had to brush it again in a few days I was ripping my hair out of my head, no matter how careful I was being. So...if you're wanting your hair to get some natural wave/curl back I wouldn't recommend not combing your hair, instead just avoid putting it in a pony tail until it's totally dry. And since I stay at home, pretty much all the time, my hair is always in a pony tail, it's hard to not do it, but I've been resisting. And it's especially been hard not to considering this transition period, but I'm sticking it out.. Secondly (okay I realize that everything I said under "first" does not go together, I've never claimed to be a grammar specialist/or whatever), keep your mouth closed really tight when putting this stuff in your hair. It's obviously going to be very runny, it's well a cup of water really. As far as I tip my head back (and yes, I do currently have a double back neck, that really cute roll of fat in the back of my neck that when I throw my head back in laughter - or to wash it - shows up, and probably inhibits how far back my head will actually go, whatever) I still tend to get a little bit of stuff on my face and you'll taste it. It's not exactly yummy. Thirdly, DO NOT shave your legs BEFORE you do this. The water/vinegar mixture will run down your freshly shaven legs and it will burn, badly! So, just wait to shave until after you've washed. I also wash my body last, just in case there's any smell of vinegar. I have not noticed any greasy smell or dirty smell in my hair , my hair actually smells pleasant but I do plan on getting some essential oil and I've had my husband smell it multiple times and no vinegar smell either. When I actually take the time to edit my photos (thanks Pinterest - I'm a new member) I will post pictures of my hair. I think I should have one from each week.
I was at dinner Monday night with some ladies from church, it was a great night really. And mentioned something about not shampooing anymore, which most people just ask about, no judgement. My hair doesn't stink or look gross by any means. But when I came home and told my husband that the subject came up he said "you probably shouldn't advertise that." Does he know me at all???!! I have no issues being an open book to my life, past, present or future. I'm not ashamed of anything I've done in the past or choose to do now, I'm human! I think what he was REALLY saying was "people already think you're weird, why give them anymore ammunition?" And, well, that's probably true.
One of the biggest desires of my heart is to NEVER let a person in front of me at the grocery store pay for their groceries, or the person behind me in the drive thruchapstick my aunt makes, to buy like 100 from her and walk around with them and just randomly hand them out to people (obviously this will help my aunt too), to make the phone calls I say I will make, to open my doors when another mom needs a day out or a date with their husband, or any of those things. To quit always talking about myself and actually start listening to people and asking questions.
At one point I thought how amazing it would be to collect the stories of my congregation at my church and make a book about it. When someone had a prayer request, a need, a struggle, then we'd know who to send them through, someone who's been through the same thing. Or just to be a book that will encourage someone that's going through anything at all.
That's it for today! Yes, random, with no purpose, my English teacher would have NEVER accepted this paper :)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
For my Friend And Soon to be First Time Mom
My good friend, Terrie, is soon to have her first baby. She swears she knows nothing, I'm sure her instincts will kick in, but when she swears her husbands knows nothing, this I will believe. However, I told her today I would blog about things a first time mom should know, I have no instructions but I do have stuff to say...
First, during pregnancy, no matter how organized you think you are, you probably aren't. The "mom mush brain" starts during this time, you will forget every day things and it continues until your child is much older. This is fine, you can always blame the "mom mush brain" for phone calls you forgot to make, mismatched socks or the baby picture you forgot to bring to the baby shower. It's a great idea to try to be organized, but after baby gets here, you will rearrange things like 100 times, this is normal.
At the hospital, you "lose" things. Whatever they open for you, you get to take home. If you are only there 48 hours (normal delivery) you will probably not have as much luck at this, as I do, since I am there 72 hours, but by all means try, and the nurses know what you are doing, so they wont' judge you. When they open the pack of diapers, pretend to change the baby's diaper every 15 minutes or so (instead shoving them into a diaper bag) and they will open a new pack of diapers for you, that you get to take home. If they have to give your baby Tylenol for any means and they only use it once they are "supposed" to throw it in the trash, some nurse will wink at you and leave it on the table, others will throw it away just take it, it's totally fine. You will also get these pads that are the biggest, non adult diaper pads you've ever seen, take them home, not only are they free, but they are also very absorbent and comfortable, and if you happen to go through like 25 in a day, they will bring you more. The hospital issued pacifiers are the greatest, lose them, a lot, they will bring you new ones! (Although my kids never took them anyway.) You will also receive a free diaper bag (at least this is the case in most hospitals), it contains free sample, if you tell them you are nursing the formula sample is small, if you tell them you are formula feeding the sample is much bigger, if you want the bigger sample just tell them. ALSO, hide it as soon as you get it, then if the nurse on the second shift notices you don't have one, you may be offered a second one. Do not feel bad about taking it, formula DOES NOT cost $25/can to make this I promise you. The diaper bag is not exactly useful, but you'll feel better by donating it to the local Goodwill or whatever, someone will use it. Or you can use it as the 'back up' diaper bag you leave in the car, for those cicircumstances that you forgot the real diaper bag or the baby poops through two outfits, or you forgot to restock the diapers in the real one, etc.
During delivery, the nurses will teach you and coach you through everything you need to know. There is NOTHING they haven't seen, seriously, nothing, and if you do gross stuff they will not even tell you it happened, they will move on, you will be none the wiser. You will not see your doctor until like the baby is almost out, get to know your nurses, they will DEFINITELY get to know you in ways you never imagined. When your water breaks (either on it's on or if they have to do it), it smells like Chlorine, I have no idea why, but I personally think it's because if gives a woman a sense of clean during a time that's very messy. There are things that may happen that you never read about in books (for me, it was vomiting and shaking) however, again, the nurses have seen it, nothing you do or your body does will scare them or even really panic them. They are the calmest people I've ever met on the planet. By all means, ASK for the pain medicine every 3 hours, you get to push a button and be demanding and someone walks a cup of water and pain medicine to you, this will probably not happen at home, so take advantage. Also, you have to follow your instincts (for example, I was told not to nurse my son until after his circumcision, the doctor was 3 hours late, by the time little man got out of surgery he was so insanely hungry he wouldn't latch again, my mothering instinct told me to feed him, the nurses told me not to, I wish I would have listened to my instincts). The instincts apply to many things, use them they your greatest resource.
After baby gets here you will find out things that came easily before are no longer easy, if not down right impossible. For me, it was mostly getting to places on time. Now, I wasn't always good at that as it was, but now it's so much worse. Even if you're not taking baby with you OR let's say you get totally organized (or so you think) the night before, something will happen. The baby will poop everywhere, or decide to take 2 hours to drink 1 bottle of milk, when it normally takes them 20 minutes. Or, the baby doesn't wake at 6:45 or before, like usual, and you have set your alarm for 6:45, I promise you those extra 15 minutes of sleep or so worth it to show up late. I feel like if my kids don't wake me up, I have no reason to be out of bed yet. If you had a clear car before baby, it will no longer be clean. Maybe not at first, but soon, very soon, she will hold her own bottle, then decide to throw it, or she will need 17 toys at one time, only to watch them slowly fall off her lap onto the floor and you won't pick them up when you go inside because your hands are always full! You will always be carrying at least one bag, if you are a purse carrier, you will be carrying two bags. At first you will thank that you'll just carry your stuff in the diaper bag, this will not be as easy as you think and you will eventually carry two bags. Then there's always a bottle in your hand for baby and maybe a bottle of water in your hand for yourself. Not to mention keys, possibly a cell phone (because we KNOW those maternity pants that you still have to wear briefly after baby DO NOT have pockets that can carry anything other than a tic tac...yes ONE tic tac, not ONE container of tic tacs). The car seat + the baby weighs probably 123982912 pounds, when you put baby in for the first time it's like this "awww, look how little she looks in that big car seat" then you have to carry it in and out of places and you think your child weighs that of an adult elephant. And there is no easy way to carry those things, they are big, heavy and insanely awkward, you will use more wet or dirty carts that you ever thought, AND you will also park closer to cart corrals simply because it's faster and easier to put carts away.
Some hospitals require that you take these "classes", mine were conveniently located on a touch screen video that just came down from over my head, and I could lay in bed and watch them. They might not be required, but I was there 5 days last time, and didn't have many visitors so...I watched them. The nurses DO NOT think it's funny to laugh at the videos, they are apparently very serious, but I promise you it's also very funny. Speaking of funny, the maconium (I totally spelled that wrong) poop is probably the funniest moment you'll ever have in your life. I hope someone who finds poop as equally as funny as I do is there to enjoy this moment with you. For me, with both children my sister was there and when I was changing a regular pee diaper and I pushed baby's legs back to put the new diaper under, that motion somehow squeezed the tiny little belly and the blackest (or purplest, I cannot decide which color it is) poop you've ever seen comes screaming out, luckily both times I've had the new diaper in place, but the whole thing was so funny! IF you had a normal delivery, cross your legs, you may pee (not on purpose, those sort of things just happen now, this should be added to things that you thought were easy that are almost impossible now - holding your pee), if you've had a c-section, you need to brace your stomach with a soft pillow when you laugh, because it will hurt, and then it'll be so funny that it's hurting that you'll laugh even more or that might be the medicine, whatever.
There will also come a moment at the hospital that you realize you are going to have to do this on your own. This may be overwhelming, for me, it was beyond that. I actually walked out to the nurses station in tears, they did not freak out, again, they've seen it all. They helped me through, answered any questions I had but the thought of going home and doing it alone (yes, we have husbands, but we're the mom) was a little more than I could handle for a few moments. These feelings are very normal, but if for some reason they linger longer than you feel is "normal" you should probably tell someone, but you are probably not nearly as neurotic as I am....
And finally, being a mom means, not panicking. If you react, your child will react. Which means if you over-react, so will your kid. If you child wants to use your nasty flip flop as her teething ring, there is no harm in that. If you decide not to make every person sanitize up to their elbows every time they touch your baby, that is fine. If all those neat little contraptions that you bought for baby (or got as a gift) your baby never even touches, it's totally fine, there is nothing wrong with your kid, just blame the product.
And when all else fails call your mom or hand baby to daddy and breathe!!!!
First, during pregnancy, no matter how organized you think you are, you probably aren't. The "mom mush brain" starts during this time, you will forget every day things and it continues until your child is much older. This is fine, you can always blame the "mom mush brain" for phone calls you forgot to make, mismatched socks or the baby picture you forgot to bring to the baby shower. It's a great idea to try to be organized, but after baby gets here, you will rearrange things like 100 times, this is normal.
At the hospital, you "lose" things. Whatever they open for you, you get to take home. If you are only there 48 hours (normal delivery) you will probably not have as much luck at this, as I do, since I am there 72 hours, but by all means try, and the nurses know what you are doing, so they wont' judge you. When they open the pack of diapers, pretend to change the baby's diaper every 15 minutes or so (instead shoving them into a diaper bag) and they will open a new pack of diapers for you, that you get to take home. If they have to give your baby Tylenol for any means and they only use it once they are "supposed" to throw it in the trash, some nurse will wink at you and leave it on the table, others will throw it away just take it, it's totally fine. You will also get these pads that are the biggest, non adult diaper pads you've ever seen, take them home, not only are they free, but they are also very absorbent and comfortable, and if you happen to go through like 25 in a day, they will bring you more. The hospital issued pacifiers are the greatest, lose them, a lot, they will bring you new ones! (Although my kids never took them anyway.) You will also receive a free diaper bag (at least this is the case in most hospitals), it contains free sample, if you tell them you are nursing the formula sample is small, if you tell them you are formula feeding the sample is much bigger, if you want the bigger sample just tell them. ALSO, hide it as soon as you get it, then if the nurse on the second shift notices you don't have one, you may be offered a second one. Do not feel bad about taking it, formula DOES NOT cost $25/can to make this I promise you. The diaper bag is not exactly useful, but you'll feel better by donating it to the local Goodwill or whatever, someone will use it. Or you can use it as the 'back up' diaper bag you leave in the car, for those cicircumstances that you forgot the real diaper bag or the baby poops through two outfits, or you forgot to restock the diapers in the real one, etc.
During delivery, the nurses will teach you and coach you through everything you need to know. There is NOTHING they haven't seen, seriously, nothing, and if you do gross stuff they will not even tell you it happened, they will move on, you will be none the wiser. You will not see your doctor until like the baby is almost out, get to know your nurses, they will DEFINITELY get to know you in ways you never imagined. When your water breaks (either on it's on or if they have to do it), it smells like Chlorine, I have no idea why, but I personally think it's because if gives a woman a sense of clean during a time that's very messy. There are things that may happen that you never read about in books (for me, it was vomiting and shaking) however, again, the nurses have seen it, nothing you do or your body does will scare them or even really panic them. They are the calmest people I've ever met on the planet. By all means, ASK for the pain medicine every 3 hours, you get to push a button and be demanding and someone walks a cup of water and pain medicine to you, this will probably not happen at home, so take advantage. Also, you have to follow your instincts (for example, I was told not to nurse my son until after his circumcision, the doctor was 3 hours late, by the time little man got out of surgery he was so insanely hungry he wouldn't latch again, my mothering instinct told me to feed him, the nurses told me not to, I wish I would have listened to my instincts). The instincts apply to many things, use them they your greatest resource.
After baby gets here you will find out things that came easily before are no longer easy, if not down right impossible. For me, it was mostly getting to places on time. Now, I wasn't always good at that as it was, but now it's so much worse. Even if you're not taking baby with you OR let's say you get totally organized (or so you think) the night before, something will happen. The baby will poop everywhere, or decide to take 2 hours to drink 1 bottle of milk, when it normally takes them 20 minutes. Or, the baby doesn't wake at 6:45 or before, like usual, and you have set your alarm for 6:45, I promise you those extra 15 minutes of sleep or so worth it to show up late. I feel like if my kids don't wake me up, I have no reason to be out of bed yet. If you had a clear car before baby, it will no longer be clean. Maybe not at first, but soon, very soon, she will hold her own bottle, then decide to throw it, or she will need 17 toys at one time, only to watch them slowly fall off her lap onto the floor and you won't pick them up when you go inside because your hands are always full! You will always be carrying at least one bag, if you are a purse carrier, you will be carrying two bags. At first you will thank that you'll just carry your stuff in the diaper bag, this will not be as easy as you think and you will eventually carry two bags. Then there's always a bottle in your hand for baby and maybe a bottle of water in your hand for yourself. Not to mention keys, possibly a cell phone (because we KNOW those maternity pants that you still have to wear briefly after baby DO NOT have pockets that can carry anything other than a tic tac...yes ONE tic tac, not ONE container of tic tacs). The car seat + the baby weighs probably 123982912 pounds, when you put baby in for the first time it's like this "awww, look how little she looks in that big car seat" then you have to carry it in and out of places and you think your child weighs that of an adult elephant. And there is no easy way to carry those things, they are big, heavy and insanely awkward, you will use more wet or dirty carts that you ever thought, AND you will also park closer to cart corrals simply because it's faster and easier to put carts away.
Some hospitals require that you take these "classes", mine were conveniently located on a touch screen video that just came down from over my head, and I could lay in bed and watch them. They might not be required, but I was there 5 days last time, and didn't have many visitors so...I watched them. The nurses DO NOT think it's funny to laugh at the videos, they are apparently very serious, but I promise you it's also very funny. Speaking of funny, the maconium (I totally spelled that wrong) poop is probably the funniest moment you'll ever have in your life. I hope someone who finds poop as equally as funny as I do is there to enjoy this moment with you. For me, with both children my sister was there and when I was changing a regular pee diaper and I pushed baby's legs back to put the new diaper under, that motion somehow squeezed the tiny little belly and the blackest (or purplest, I cannot decide which color it is) poop you've ever seen comes screaming out, luckily both times I've had the new diaper in place, but the whole thing was so funny! IF you had a normal delivery, cross your legs, you may pee (not on purpose, those sort of things just happen now, this should be added to things that you thought were easy that are almost impossible now - holding your pee), if you've had a c-section, you need to brace your stomach with a soft pillow when you laugh, because it will hurt, and then it'll be so funny that it's hurting that you'll laugh even more or that might be the medicine, whatever.
There will also come a moment at the hospital that you realize you are going to have to do this on your own. This may be overwhelming, for me, it was beyond that. I actually walked out to the nurses station in tears, they did not freak out, again, they've seen it all. They helped me through, answered any questions I had but the thought of going home and doing it alone (yes, we have husbands, but we're the mom) was a little more than I could handle for a few moments. These feelings are very normal, but if for some reason they linger longer than you feel is "normal" you should probably tell someone, but you are probably not nearly as neurotic as I am....
And finally, being a mom means, not panicking. If you react, your child will react. Which means if you over-react, so will your kid. If you child wants to use your nasty flip flop as her teething ring, there is no harm in that. If you decide not to make every person sanitize up to their elbows every time they touch your baby, that is fine. If all those neat little contraptions that you bought for baby (or got as a gift) your baby never even touches, it's totally fine, there is nothing wrong with your kid, just blame the product.
And when all else fails call your mom or hand baby to daddy and breathe!!!!
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