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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Josephine Marie and the words I speak

Wow, what a long time since I posted, but my hands are now officially 'runneth over' with children.  If you've read my previous posts about how hard it was for me to get pregnant, this is a miracle!  Jospehine (Josie) is an amazing baby.  She pretty much only cries when she's hungry. 

I did figure out that she likes to be swaddled, which is crazy to me, since the other two hated it.  Which brings me to the thought that even though I've made three kids with the exact same man, who we are both raising together, our kids are so different.  They all look the same and they are all weird, but that's about where their similarities stop. 

So, as for all my concerns about my c section and all the yuckiness that came along, prayer worked.  (duh!)  I only dry heaved a few times, first when they put the IV in and also right after the spinal block.  Which is amazing for me.  Then the shaking, which is honestly way worse than the vomiting.  The shaking was so minimal that I barely noticed it.  I think maybe twice I realized it was happening, but again, nothing nuts.   The moment of having the announcement "It's a girl!" was so amazing.  There's a part of me that wished I always would have waited for all of them, but I dont' regret the decision to find out before!  And I would encourage everyone to wait, it's so special.  It brought tears to my eyes and I just couldn't wait to love her and hold her. 

I remember at one point even thinking if it would be funny to say "ouch" but then thought, well, probably not. Because of course it doesn't hurt, but the "pressure" is so weird, it's hard to explain unless you've had one.  I got to hold Josie right away, and as soon as we were back in our room I even sat up a little bit.  My sister and sister in law were waiting for us and I got to share a very special moment with them telling them "Meet Josephine Marie"!  So great, I loved it!  Other than the actual announcement that she was a girl, it was probably my favorite moment ever!!!!  It fills my heart with complete joy and love when I think it!  We had so many visitors the first day, I was so exhausted, but I'm so glad Josie is so loved!!

I, of course, loved every second of the 4 days in the hospital.  And now, I have lost all but 6 pounds of my pregnancy weight.  But none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit very well, as everything is lying in weird places, which takes a few more weeks to fix.  I took a very short walk the other day and hurt really bad when I got back.  So still waiting a couple more weeks before pushing myself at all.  And after hearing how they do a tubal ligation during a c section it makes perfect sense as to why I was way sore for way longer this time (and still am).

Yes, I feel overwhelmed.  I feel like there is no time in my day but I get nothing done.  I survive on very little, often interrupted sleep and even though I feel tired, it's almost like I don't have time to be tired!  But my children are such a blessing in my life.  I wouldn't change it. 

I know the importance of what I "speak" over my kids but I want to encourage moms (and dads) even more in this area.  From the time I found out I was pregnant, every day (and probably more than once) I'd say "you're gonna be the best baby ever" and she honestly is.  She's so snugly and sweet and just perfect!  I often catch myself saying things to my other kids like "Zoe, you cry EVERY DAY" and "Isaac, you never help unless you want to".  I know these are not things I want to speak over my kids, so I need to watch my mouth more.  I only want positive things, I only want them to hear me say positive things to them and to other people about them.  I want to praise my kids, not bring them down.  And, no, I'm not a delusional mom that never uses the word 'no' and my kids are absolutely disciplined, so don't be mislead.  Words are just so unbelievably powerful, so I want those powerful words to be uplifting.  I don't ever want to say to my kids when they frustrate me "just wait, just wait until you have kids" or "just wait, I hope you have a daughter just like you so you know how hard it is."  Nope, never want to say that.  And I honestly remember my mom saying it to me, not because she was mean, but probably because she didn't know any better.

I also try to never say "heart problems run in my family" or things of that nature.  Without divulging into the Word and really pulling out what it says about these things, just try to think of something you've said.  Maybe "I always get stuck behind slow drivers on this road"...does it keep happening?  Or "I always break out that time of the month"...does it keep happening?  Or "my kid always throws a fit in the store"...does it keep happening?  Those two words "always" and "never", as I have seem to noticed, carry some of the most powerful punches.   Maybe I can encourage you to just watch your mouth and see if things start changing.  I've seen what my positive words do for my children and I've seen what my negative words do.  I will no longer call myself fat, I will no longer say how hard it is to lose weight, I will no longer say that I can't fit into clothes that are too small.  If I'm really going into this life change change...it's my whole life and my body is just a part of it.

2 comments:

  1. you are defi not fat...I just call myself "big boned" and I am going to try and remember ..words of encouragement over negative...sounds very nice and I think it does work..glad you back writing :)I miss your words and quirkiness

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  2. Thank you so much! :) Big boned sounds way better :)

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