So, I watched True Life: I'm Addicted to Food tonight. And everything thing these girls said to me made perfect sense. If I mess up eating, I eat again because "what's the point". The goal is so big it's hard to wrap my head around. I eat to soothe, I eat to calm, I eat to mask an emotion, I eat because I'm bored...I could go on and on and on.
Here's where I find my difference. I can and do tell myself 'no'. Not as often as I probably should at this point, but I do. Today, we went out to eat, I had this amazing salad, maybe not the BEST choice I could have made but man I wanted a burger. Right now, when everyone else is asleep and I'm typing this out and I'm watching mindless TV, a snack would be the first thing I go get, but I'm choosing not to get a snack. I let it known tonight that I will not be eating Chinese Buffet for at least the next 5 months, because, let's be honest, there are no good choices at Chinese Buffet. I can make decent choices at most places we eat, and when I can't, I will let my husband know that we cannot eat there because I cannot make a good choice.
I'm having a hard time not making this blog too heavy. If I dug to the root of my eating, it would definitely become too heavy for this. I find honesty sometimes can be. But here's my new truth: not only CAN I do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but I WILL do all things through Christ who stregthens me.
I know I won't be perfect, but I will not "punish" myself when I mess up. I won't reward myself with food when I do good and I won't sabatoge myself. I will be my own best friend, my best cheerleader! I have two of the greatest allies on my side, and that's my God and my husband!
So, I'm thinking about trying some of these workouts on the Fitness Channel. I already work out to Gilad, "the Israely fitness god", that's what he calls himself. So maybe I'll try experimenting with some other ones. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna YouTube "Sweatin' to the Oldies" cause I'd probably laugh the entire time, a double work out in one!! Which is also going to be part of my routine...laughing more!
So soon this becomes legit! Saturday is January 1st, I kind of wish January 1st was a Monday. Don't we all try to start new things on Mondays? I know how I'd like my day to start, if I post it, and I dont' do it, then I'm just kind of publicly failing. So, right now, I don't feel comfortable posting it. This does not make me a chicken, getting out of my comfort zone is a whole new concept to me. So one step at a time. Starting this blog and making it available for people to read was the first step. I am now accountable to you....whoever you are....