Saw a commerical for Kung Fu Panda 2 and they said "Prepare for the Year of Awesomeness" and I'm pretty sure I'll say that 12389128391028 times the next year! Regardless of the goals I'm going to accomplish this year, I am going to make sure my year is awesome.
I got to exercize outside today!!! So exciting! I love to walk/jog outside. And I actually went for a walk twice because it was so nice. What a great feeling to feel the wamth of the sun on the last day of the year. It kind of makes me want to be by the ocean next year for the New Year. The sun sometimes bites me, but I sure do love to soak it up. The two walks were really what my spirit needed. It's so funny to me the moods I get in while I walk. I always first want to hear music that sets my feet to a pace. It usually is pop music, which normally isn't my genre of choice, but it works so well. I like to pretend in my head that I'm on a run way, so I have to keep the beat of the song. I'm pretty amazing at it to be honest.
Part of the way through my walk I started to think about what I've started here and felt a little bit of anxiety. What if I fail? Will I ever reveal where I've started? What if I just binge for a day, will I be honest about it? Can I push through all the birthdays, death anniversaries, and the dramas that swirl around one or two particular people in my life? So, I changed the music. I sought out worship music and not only soaked up the sun but just let the Holy Spirit rain down on my walks, lifting the anxiety and comfort me.
I actually read a story on cnn.com about a lady, Lysa TerKeurst, (don't read the comments, most of them are infuriating, I can't believe some people take the time to be so hateful) and she was so inspirational to me. I had actually gotten mad at God myself for the way I looked and all the tragedy that surrounded the emotional eating. I never lost my faith, but I definitely know the frustration, and it was probably the same frustration I felt during 4 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant. Whether God is what you believe in or not, I know you can accomplish your goals as I can. Whatever you're having faith in, whatever mantra, meditation or words of encouragement you need, go with that!
I also read the People Magazine today that features people "Half Their Size", it also interviewed Drew Carey and many other people on their weight loss journey. There are so many success stories out there, it makes me wonder why mine would make any more of a difference than anyone elses. But, it's really more about accountability at this point. I mean with The Biggest Loser, Dance your A$$ off, Celebrity Fit Club...etc. etc. you can always turn on the TV and listen to the stories. So this year, I join their stories, I don't just listen, I get to be the storyteller, a role I've always enjoyed.
I've been reminding myself all day that it's not like I can't eat blank forever, I'm just choosing not to eat it now. I mean, I'd never really survive never being able to eat peanut butter and jelly again, that's just a ludacris idea!
Whatever your goals are for 2011, know that you CAN accomplish them. Baby steps and positivity are the first steps!