Monday, January 17, 2011

Dr Oz

What was on Dr. Oz is in highlighted and italicized..
5 warning signs of food addictions:
1. Hiding food in your car, your home or your office.  I didn't have to hide food, I'd buy stuff for "the kids" and eat that.  But I'd hide eatingIt's a sign it's getting out of controlWords that come up a lot: Shame, Worthlessness, I don't matter anymore.  I'm pretty sure I used all of those words in the first few of my blog entries.  I'd just wait for my husband to walk out of the room or go to bed so I could sneak something.  And if he "caught me", I'd try to act like it wasn't a big deal, but deep inside I was so embarrassed.  And I always thought he was judging me, he was absolutely not judging me.  My husband loves me beyond my comprehension, anyone that can put up with my "little bit of crazies" should be ordained a saint.  But when you're in the moment, when you're feeling so ashamed, so consumed, so out of control, any other person you can blame it on, makes it so much easier.
2. You think about food for more than an hour a day.  Um, I think about food probably 10 hours a day.  One of the girls they were interviewing said: "It's a diversion to what I don't want to think about."  It's easier to think about food than any emotions.  Oh the truth in this statement is so profound.  I don't really think I ever put those two together.  It is so much easier to wallow in the thought of food, than to wallow in the thought of annoyance, sadness, anger or whatever the moment is.  Also, a friend of mine pointed out that even after she had quit smoking for a long time she wanted that "after dinner cigarette" so she always would eat something sweet, and now just allows herself one piece of chocolate, like one Hershey Kiss or one small piece of whatever.  This made an unbelievable amount of sense to me.  I never related that the "snack" especially the sweet snack I wanted after dinner was directly connected to my after dinner smoke I had for so many years and haven't had since the Tuesday after the Mother's Day of the year my mom died!  Just knowing that was so great for me.
3. You eat after arguing with a spouse or a friend.  One of the girls said: "I dont have to think about the fight, the food doesn't criticize or fight back."   Although my husband and I rarely fight, the few times we did I'm pretty sure I went straight to the pantry, of course when he wasn't looking.  I'm also very sensitive, I mean, it's a fault really, if I had a sensitive moment  from what someone said I'd go straight for food. 
4. You experience withdrawal symptons when you're not eating.  The therapist Dr. Oz had on the show, who was at one time a food addict said: "It's an addiction that has beginnings in our childhood".  This is where I'm not sure if it applies to me.  I don't think I felt physical withdrawals, I was also "withdrawing" from my postpartum medication the last week so it could be that.  And, she talked about as a kid our parents would comfort us with food.  Now, my mom was an amazing cook and she had some things from her childhood, some major things, that brought her own food issues.  My mom actually never ate, she'd feed all of us and I don't remember her eating much.  I often remember my dad and my grandpa telling her to put weight on because she was so skinny.  Later in my life as she got some healing in her life she did put on some weight, the perfect amount really.  I don't ever remember anyone in my life saying "oh, you're sad, have a cookie."  I can't really pinpoint if this is related to my childhood.  I was a chubby middle schooler and high schooler, but I'm pretty sure that was from pure laziness to be honest.  I think the real binging came when she died.  The first week I couldn't eat anything but after that, like the lady said earlier, it was easier to think about food then sadness.  Not to mention going to 12 funerals in 6 years (including my mom, I lost my 3 living grandparents among other very important people), 1 tubal pregnancy, 3 miscarriages and some henious crimes against my step children, food was so much easier than dealing...with any of it....
5. You can't stop eating even when you're not hungry.   Before or during the binge you feel "happy" after the binge you feel like a loser and sick. Oh I don't even really think I ever ate when I was hungry.  There were probably many times in my recent past that I never even knew hunger.  I would eat very blindly, sometimes not even realizing I was doing it until I'd eaten 10 cookies, half a box of waffles or 3 bowls of chips.  And then, then the shame was so overbearing, I'd probably eat something else. 

So yeah, in a nutshell, I think I definitely qualify for a food addict.

Dr. Oz also had the following list
3 solutions to overcome food addiction:
1. FLAB: Frustrated, Lonely, Anxious or Bored.  If you feel those, the food is not going to take those feelings away.  IN THAT moment make a list of things you can do instead of eating the food, call a friend, take a walk, etc.   This is something I am definitely going to do and below I will share my list with you. 
2. Journaling.  The emotions you sense with food.  Write down when you're eating and how you feeling.   I think this will also be important for me.  I may do it in this blog, but, ugh, it's opening up so much more of me, and doing this isn't as easy as it may seem.  My family reads this, long time friends, new friends (that probably thought I have it all together) and some of my husband's family reads it, I mean, this is the parts of me people had no idea were there and maybe, didn't even really want to know.  And I'm just not sure they'd want to know my emotions while I was eating a cookie. 
3. Use a Food Log.  Write down what you ate, when you ate it, where you ate it and how you were feeling when you ate it.  Notice the triggers, figure them out.  This seems a little reduntant of #2, but maybe because it's so important?  I guess I shall try it.  Maybe I'm just not understanding.

So here are some things I am going to do instead of FLAB eating (that may be my new word(s) for it). 
1. Read my Bible, I am probably 5 days behind on the "Read The Bible In A Year".  Or read anything really.
2. Read to my kids or just play with my kids in general.
3. Write/Blog (yup, this may become annoying).
4. Exercise.  Whether it's treadmill, a video, or just sit ups.
5. Clean, organize.  You know the stuff I should be doing.
6. Do something for myself, paint toenails, straighten hair, put on make up for no reason at all, etc.
7. Make lists, I really love lists!

And here's a few things I should not do when I'm feeling emotions that will lead to FLAB eating. 
1. Play around mindlessly on the internet.  (I may do this when I'm not eating).
2. Watch mindless television.  (I may also do this when I'm not eating).
3. Go in the kitchen!!!
4. Drive anywhere, because I will stop and get food, even if it's just a donut or candy bar or go as far as getting an actual meal.
5. Go grocery shopping.

So it was eye opening, a very short segment.  Apparently every Monday Dr. Oz tackles some topics in getting healthy in 2011.  Now, I would just like to make a little bit of a disclaimer here.  I don't really watch Dr. Oz on a regular basis, but I often read the information for certain shows and record them if they are pertinent to my life.  And this definitely was that.

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