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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Yesterday's Post, My blog editor wouldn't load...

So, I had waffles for breakfast, I’m okay with it.  A week ago I would have had probably eaten almost half a box and if you think I’m being sarcastic you’re wrong.  But I did NOT have half a box today, so yay me!  I will not be having waffles all the time, that’s for sure.  About an hour after I had them I was hungry again. 
I was sort of in a funk today; I couldn’t find a workout I wanted to do.  If I had been given the chance to jog outside (my favorite) I probably wouldn’t have even taken it!  So, when all else fails, I choose the treadmill.  And, I despise the treadmill.  It’s like being in a traffic jam, sweating the entire time, oh and having a three year old hanging onto the wheel.  I’ve often told people that I’d rather cut off my left leg than use the treadmill, it’s pretty true.  But I walked for about 25 minutes, watching Legally Blonde.  Maybe I need to find a new movie to watch, I do love Legally Blonde (I’m pretty sure any DVD in pink plastic is probably an amazing movie).  But it’s just not doing it for me on the treadmill.  I’ll try again though.   So I hate the treadmill basically because it’s dumb, but I love it because I know that’s where I’ll get the best results right now.
 Later in the day, because I was still in a funk I decided to work out again.  A 30 minute work out to “Shape Up with Sharon Mann” low impact/Pilates.  She's kind of starting to get on my nerves, but it might be because I was in a funk today.  Her work outs are good and she does a variety of stuff, so I’m sure I’ll use her again.  Plus, since FitTV is only doing 3 hours of actual fitness in the mornings, I don’t have much to choose from anymore. 
My food choices were fine today, nothing to be excited about it, but nothing to be disappointed in.  I did have 3 Hershey kisses a few minutes ago.  I was NOT going to admit that but isn’t this all about being as raw as possible?  But I’m not ashamed of my Hershey kisses.  Again, a week ago I would have probably had 10 of them, if not more.  On Wednesday nights we have to leave for church at 4:45 and don’t get back until about 9, so I had to eat dinner before church tonight.  A week ago I would have eaten a dinner, a BIG dinner, sometimes even just went and got fast food at 9 or 9:30, depending on when I got the kiddos to bed. 
MTV started a new series “I Used To Be Fat”, I’m watching it for the first time.  I’m not really sure how many episodes they are doing but I know of 3 for sure.  I’m loving it right now.  And I love the thought of a countdown calendar, so I think I’m going to make one that counts down until my birthday.  I mean I did it on my 22nd birthday because we went to Beale Street Music Festival and I was so excited.  And this time I’m so excited because I will finally have myself back.  I will have that free spirit, spontaneous, fun loving girl I had at 22/23.  So yup, a countdown calendar it is!!
And tomorrow I push.  I actually am going to weigh in on Friday, so I need to push a little tomorrow.  Every day I say I’m going to push tomorrow, but it’s time to start some new changes.  I’ve been doing okay in some areas, and better in other areas but it’s time to start doing great in all areas.  It was really nice to hear on this show that at about 2 weeks this girl got into her stride and everything started to get a little bit easier.  There were still moments of frustration, but she felt stronger in all the areas involved in losing weight.
Sometimes it just takes a great night of praise and worship to get my mind back to where it needs to be.  Tonight we sang, “Freedom” and I just kept thinking about the freedom from food. It almost seems like it’s become my god.  Ugh, I didn’t even want to write that, it sounds so….disgusting.  But I thought about food way more than I thought on God.  I meditated on food more than I mediated on the Word.  My inner voice, the Holy Spirit, would prompt me not to eat stuff and I’d just put it in my mouth.   I was being deliberating disobedient, what a bad place to be.   So, I felt all that lifted tonight.  I felt refreshed on a day I felt in a funk!  So grateful for a church with amazing praise and worship and a Pastor completely open to the move of the Holy Spirit!  And most grateful for mercy and grace!!!

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