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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Second, is the first loser

I've really gotta work on titles here, I'm so bad at them!!  I wrote a book when I was 14 and called it "Hook, Line and Sinker".   It's a pretty lame book, as the title so suggests.

I weighed in again this morning, the second I woke up, it says I gained .4 pounds, so...I will not be doing that again.  If I have a bad week, that just means I have a better week next time!!  But my first thoughts are "I'm totally eating fast food today."  But unless it's grilled chicken sandwich, or only 3 tacos, or something similar I will not be doing that.

I did do a 25 minute work our with Gilad, he's awesome.  Wish he was my actually personal trainer!!  And I think I'm going to head over to my dad's house and do some cleaning, and it'll burn calories too!  I feel somewhat better than I did yesterday, however, I'm still not being the best mom I could be and that is mostly what this journey is about...

I did not eat fast food but I didn't make the best food decisions today.  And I only did the 25 minute work out this morning and 100 sit ups.  So I'll definitely have to do better the rest of the week, I'm not discouraged, I refuse to get down on myself.  I refuse to beat myself up on a "not perfect" day. 

I did spend a few hours at my dad's house cleaning this evening.  I took no kids with me and came home to a clean house and bathed children, it was great!  Pretty much exactly what I needed.  My dad wanted me to go through some boxes in the basement, he's constantly trying to get rid of stuff at his house.  Well a lot of the boxes were old keep sakes from when I was a kid!!!!  I want to make sure I'm with my siblings when I go through them but considering this coming Friday will be 7 years since my mom passed, it was really hard not to go through them.  Then, I remember that I was doing this exact same thing 7 years ago.  A few days before she died I was at her house, sitting on the floor, going through a box of keepsakes (not the ones I found today)....  It was hard, it was SO hard not to walk upstairs and pig out on all the yummy snacks that my dad always has at his house.  So hard not to quit doing what I was doing and just eat anything.  So hard not to stop on the way back to my house when I pass 10 fast food places or gas stations and just eat something, especially since I hadn't eaten dinner by this point.  But I didn't.  I just came home and ate.  Not the BEST dinner choice, but oh well.

I will try to get back to being light hearted, but this is going to be a hard week for it!  I do hope that my siblings can get together next Saturday and go through the this.  We usually try to get together around the 21st anyway... 

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