As I said yesterday I was sure Monday was going to be the hardest day. I'm so glad I realized while writing yesterday that Monday is NEVER a good day (for me) to start a new routine/diet. So glad I started this on Saturday, even though everything in my mind and body was screaming to start Monday and binge out this last weekend. So so so glad I chose the better choice. I guess telling my 3 year old a hundred times a day to make a good choice will eventually pay off for him too.
My first workout was "Dance and be Fit: Old School Hip Hop" (yessssssssssss). It was super fun and no voiceovers...hurray! The girl Sarah Moore (maybe, I'm not 100% sure, I should write this stuff down) was really cute and had a great smile and attitude. I was definitely hot, but again, not dripping sweat and I'd really like to get to dripping sweat at least once a day. And I really needed it to energize me, as I'm exhausted from last night, it really didnt' energize me, but I'm not falling asleep on the couch anymore. I would also like to comment that I think dancers have amazing bodies, dancers and professional soccer players, those are my two favorites. (Yes, you did not need to know that, I realize this.)
So, something else exciting happened today. I sat down to eat lunch, soup, mmm. And normally I'd eat soup AND a sandwich (maybe 2, depending on who was watching) or soup AND chips (maybe two bowls depending on who was watching), soup and something. However, about 4 bites from the end of my soup and half a piece of bread with just peanut butter, I was full! YAY, day 3 and my stomach is already coming on board with this new change. Hurray for my stomach!
The second workout was "In Shape with Sharon Mann" and today she did boxing. I sweated...yippee!! (Um, is sweated a word or is it just sweat?) So, I love when the instructors have helpers, because the helpers usually either crack me up or totally motivate me for whatever reason. Anyway, Sharon Mann had 4 helpers today. One was cracking me up!!! She was so spunky (because I do not want to claim she was on crack, I pick spunky). If we were supposed to hop, she was jumping. If we were supposed to punch she was hopping and punching, it was awesome. Okay, it was a little annoying, it's like the doing the electric slide at a wedding and there's always that girl who's practically stripping during it, making it the sex-tric slide (yeah, I went there...what?). But I liked her and the work out was really good, I'm pretty sure I'd be amazing at kickboxing. However, not competitive because even though I'd like to punch another person in the face, I do not want to get punched in the face, I have nice teeth. So, the second choice was good. And I'll probably record more of her. I have another one recorded, pilates but I'm not such a great balancer these days.
I made good food choices, as indicated above. Actually counted out 20 preztels for my evening snack, when I swore I'd never count out food, I totally did. Now, I don't really count my calories, but I am vaguely aware of what I have going on. Again, just sticking with the better choices here.
So, after my second work out Dr. Phil happened to be on when I stopped the DVR'ed program (not a verb) and I hear something about 'my wife is fat, I want her to lose weight, I'm embarrassed to go out in public with her..blah blah blah". So, I recorded it. And now I'm watching it, and he's the guy I'd like to kickbox. She gained a lot of weight in the first 4 years of their marriage, namely 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from a size 2 to a size 22. Yes, all unhealthy, I'm sure she's very aware that she's unhealthy. But he decides to SHAME her into losing the weight by calling her names, making fun of her, etc. etc. Are you kidding me? That's like wanting your kid to do his homework and telling him he's too stupid to get a good grade anyway. Let me explain something about fat people, we do not want to talk to ANYONE about our fatness unless we bring it up first. And we do not want you to say anything, just nod your head, smile, say "tell me what to do to support you and I'll do it." Don't make suggestions, unless solicited, don't show me articles about people losing weight, don't even comment about your Cousin LuLu who gained a few pounds since the last time you saw her. We are 100% 24/7 aware that we are fat and that we need to lose weight. If we lose a pound, don't ask us what we weigh now. We will tell you if we want to. And if we say to you for 6 years that we want to lose weight, if we cry about it, if we try for a day and don't do it, if we lose 15 pounds (be proud) and then gain it back, just continue to say you'll support us in whatever decision we make. If we decide to stay fat, you love us, if we decide to lose weight you love us. I have always had the support, it wasn't anyone but myself that held me back the last many years. I know this, I verbalized this and now I'm fixing this. I do realize that this is exactly how an addict feels, funny how fatness and addiction shadow each other a little....
With that being said. There is something so liberating in the therapy of this blog. I never in a million years would have thought THIS is what I'd be eventually blogging about (yes, because for a million years I've been thinking about it...). I always thought I'd blog about the funny (ok, hilarious) stories I tell, or I'd blog about being in a blended family (yeah, I'm not expert on that, that's for sure), or I'd blog about all the letters I want to write to people before I die (not morbid...I swear, just words I need to say). If anyone other than myself would have suggested it as a joke to my friend I never would have even considered it. Yup, totally said it as a joke. Then, to write it and share it was a whole new thing to me. I thought I'd write it, maybe share it with a few close friends, never just ...share it with whomever! (whoever..?)