Friday, January 14, 2011

Infamous week two weigh in....or...

So, it's week two weigh in day.  And I wonder if the theory on "The Biggest Loser" is true.  It's not like I work out like they do, I mean, that's intense.  I sort of wish I had a personal trainer like that everyday for an hour or two, but I don't.  I only have myself, no gym, no trainer, just me, my TV, my treadmill and babies running around my feet as I work out.  So, is it true what they say about week two weigh in and does it apply to us regular folks?  Obviously, as great as a motivation as this show is, it's really hard for any person in the "real world" to lose the amount of weight they are losing at the rate they are losing it.  I sometimes wonder if it sets us up for a little bit of failure.  I know, all the years trying to lose weight, it only takes one week of a bad weigh in, whether it's no weight loss or little weight loss to set a path that only leads back to bad habits.   On the show it's a bad week if they lose anything under 7 pounds, at least to them it is.  In the real world, any weight loss should be celebrated right? 

So, that's where I'm at today, I lost 1 1/2 pounds this week, for a total of 6 pounds in two weeks.  I mean, I should be totally proud right?  But I just feel aggravated.  The 1 1/2 pounds definitely do not display the work or effort I feel like I put in this week.  I sweated more than the first week, I cheated in the food area less than the first week, so I was really thinking no less than 3 pounds this week.  So yeah, even though I should be proud I'm pretty annoyed.  My first thoughts are to just eat whatever I want today, cause I REALLY wanted waffles this morning and I'd really love some McDonald's super sized!  So, right now I'm holding it together, we'll see what the day brings.

I also wonder about stress or emotions.  My emotions basically since Tuesday night have been an utter mess.  As a friend of mine said "my emotions are giving me whiplash today."  And that's how I've felt all week.  It's often talked about what stress can do on your body, especially when you're trying to loss weight, and even if you're not trying to loss weight.  But, right now, it just feels like an excuse to me.  "Oh, my feelings were hurt this week so that's why I only lost 1 1/2 pounds" sounds like utter crap to me!!!  Upon researching it, there is SO much conflicting evidence.  Stress produces cortisol, cortisol slows down the fat burning process, blah blah blah.  Then there's the theory that fat people who get stressed out turn to food and so they probably just ate a bunch when they were stressed out and are not being honest about it.  Especially considering if they are a food addict, as I somewhat identify with, they've been hiding/lying about the food for a long time.  But, I can honestly tell you, that I did not console myself with food at any point in this week.  The 3 Hershey Kisses I ate Tuesday night made me so sick to my stomach so even though I kind of TRIED to, it totally backfired on me.  So, I'll move on, I'll try to get a better hold on my feelings, since I seem to be uber sensitive right now.

I got up early, kind of, to work out.  I've realized that unless I have at least 30 minutes or so to wake up before I start working out, I'm not going to put much effort into it.  I was completely zoned out during Sweatin' to the Oldies and I don't think I could have picked my feet up high enough to jog on the treadmill if I wanted to.   But I'm loving this moment, as baby girl has laid down for her morning nap and I'm not rushing to get on the treadmill.  What a silly situtation I contemplate everyday...

The emotional whiplash has not gotten any better as the day went on.  Since I'm being honest here, and I'm trying to stick to the weight loss topic, I'll just stray for a minute.  After both my kids I suffered from Post Partum Depression.  I cannot afford the medication, it's name brand and well, it's expensive (they do not make a generic and any other one we've tried made me gain time 30 pounds in 30 days...).  My doctor has been awesome about keeping me stocked up, but, alas, I ran out and so did his samples and I'm beginning to think my emotional whiplash may have something to do with this...  My baby girl is almost 10 1/2 months old, so I feel like I should be over this by now, but something is definitely wrong this week and that's the only major change I've had.  So, do I wait another week until it's all worked its way out of my system and see if things balance out if you will?  Or do I make an appointment with my general practioner (my ob is the one who's been helping me with samples) and try to explain the situation and try to get samples from him?  UGH! 

There's always so much more involved in life than just weight loss.  Losing this weight is not going to make my life perfect, I'm not at all oblivious to this.  Because let's be honest, when I do lose the weight, then I have to focus on other problems.  Life is so much easier when I can just blame all my issues on being fat, isn't it?  And when I can just eat the other issues away....

Maybe that's the real issue this week, when I'd get like this in the past I'd just pig out...problem solved... Now that's not an option for me.  Learning new coping skills, I am majorly failing on.  But we'll get there.  My husband has convinced me to weigh in again tomorrow just in case....  So I will.

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